Pump With No Hose
Dear Xplicit Truth,
I have been hanging out with a guy for awhile. I'm very attracted to him, plus he is a lot of fun to hang out with. Its important to note in this story that at this point, I have been on a self-imposed hiatus from sex that has lasted about a year (I never told him this...it is just a personal thing where I had taken a break from dating/sex after getting out of a long term relationship.)
The other night, we were hanging out and things heated up a little. I decided that a year of no sex was enough for me, and dammit we were going to do it. He was, of course, receptive to the idea. We were fooling around, clothes were coming off, and he pulled out a condom. After he put it on, we started fooling around again, and I remember having the thought "why did he put a condom on now if we weren't going to start having sex right away...oh my God, we are having sex right now..." As referenced above, I hadn't had sex in a little over a year (and had only had sex with a very limited number of people at that point to begin with)...if anyone should have been able to feel penetration, it should have been me. I'm not one who size is normally important to (in fact, I prefer average over super big), but I didn't even realize that they made them like that.
I could have lived with it, because he was a pretty cool guy and we had been getting along pretty well at that point. But I could tell the next morning that he felt pretty awkward about the whole thing...he said something about calling me later and we could meet up to see a movie. He hasn't called its been 4 days.
Hiatus Pause for No Cause
Dear Hiatus,
I think the biggest question that needs to be answered here is do you care that he hasn't called because you were leaving yourself open to accept his situation or because you broke your celibacy for whack sex? My advice if (and I use if sternly) you want to continue seeing this man call him, but make the call casual not a interrogation. I'm pretty sure you will be able to get a feel of where he stands. *emails can be sent to xplicittruth@ymail.com
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